A ramble and word-wander
Feb. 3rd, 2012 12:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadows_galleryI have too many Live Journals, but I don't want to delete them. For some reason, every few years, I seem to drift to new blogs. I don't know why. I suppose I'm just capricious.
I looked up my old![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
siabha_maellyn blog this morning. It's been three years since I updated it. I realize it's been ages since I've written anything as intensely personal as what I routinely wrote in that blog. Even my poetry was torn from my heart and soul, sculpted in word-pictures what plain speech would never describe. I mean, I still often ramble to de-stress about things in my personal LJ, but to really write out the intricate complexities of my thoughts and feelings... I think I no longer really know how to express them, to articulate things that run too deep for words. That makes me sad somehow, as though I've somehow grown detached from myself, lost something of who I am. Or maybe in trying to conceal myself from others, to put on a face that might be deemed acceptable, I've hidden from myself as well.
Today, I'm going to work on portraits. I started one yesterday evening but wound up erasing it because I didn't like the way it was looking. (I wonder if I'm just being too self-critical again, as people always tell me I am) Hopefully today's work will be more fruitful.
I wish I could blink my eyes and be in various parts of the world so I can visit with friends I haven't seen in far too long. That would be absolutely perfect.
I looked up my old
siabha_maellyn blog this morning. It's been three years since I updated it. I realize it's been ages since I've written anything as intensely personal as what I routinely wrote in that blog. Even my poetry was torn from my heart and soul, sculpted in word-pictures what plain speech would never describe. I mean, I still often ramble to de-stress about things in my personal LJ, but to really write out the intricate complexities of my thoughts and feelings... I think I no longer really know how to express them, to articulate things that run too deep for words. That makes me sad somehow, as though I've somehow grown detached from myself, lost something of who I am. Or maybe in trying to conceal myself from others, to put on a face that might be deemed acceptable, I've hidden from myself as well.Today, I'm going to work on portraits. I started one yesterday evening but wound up erasing it because I didn't like the way it was looking. (I wonder if I'm just being too self-critical again, as people always tell me I am) Hopefully today's work will be more fruitful.
I wish I could blink my eyes and be in various parts of the world so I can visit with friends I haven't seen in far too long. That would be absolutely perfect.
